Have you read the book, Gay Men Don't Get Fat? Its modeled after the successful (and cheeky) book, French Women Don't Get Fat. According to the article in Gawker, "There is only one thing that keeps gay men in shape: fear. Yes, every gay—at least those of the stereotypical abdominal-obsessed physique that populates Fire Island and Palm Springs—is brought about because gay men are afraid that they will be alone for the rest of their lives."
I'm definitely prone to obsess about my weight and definitely have a far more intimate relationship with my gym (a.k.a. The Gay Temple) than any of my straight / heterosexual friends, but am I a walking cliche? What do you think? You can read the full article on Gawker, here.
UPDATE A reader pointed out that back in April I wrote a post called Is it vanity or health? The brief post was a question to readers who work out; what was their motivation. (Thanks for the reminder Mike.)
Thanks to Andy for pointing me to the article.
7 comments:
I don't have a gym membership but where I used to constantly check out self-help books ("How to Have Great Self-Esteem in 10 Easy Steps") I've now moved on to the exercise section. I've been single for about 4 years, and I assume not being pornorific is my issue.
But whoever wrote that book obviously has never been to Lexington, KY, where Kentucky's obesity issue is definitely reflected in the gay community.
Sadly, there is some merit to the article, once you get past the snarky stereotypes and silliness that the author tries to use (to much failed effect) to connect to the reader.
Gay men are prone to more body dysmorphia than their straight counterparts. Capitalizing on this, as far as I can tell, is a sick and twisted trip down vanity lane. I've always ALWAYS loathed this side of my gay tribe. That said, I've also become conditioned to notice the "lobster shell bodies" of the gym worshipers from many paces away. It is a sexual attraction, but I challenge any gay man who is solely attracted to all those abs to go further. Can the body match the mind? Can he carry a conversation beyond protein shakes and numbers of reps?
We should be raising our own standards, as a community, and not pandering to our base sexual desires ALL THE TIME. It's cheap and vapid. And we can do FAR better.
Gay men DO get fat, and no amount of "fear" can stop it. Trust me on this.
XOXOXO
I think it's because men (gay or straight) are generally visually stimulated and feel like for another man to keep interest they have to be in shape. Same reason straight women are so body obsessed. Gotta keep their man interested, while they are okay with him having a spare tire as long as he feeds them emotionally.
Very interesting article. Thanks for sharing!
I mostly agree with the article. The problem is that beauty is a lost war. We can win some battles, but when you're not young enough, you can do almost nothing to pretend you're beautiful.
Gawker has it wrong - of course.
So many in-shape guys I know cannot get dates, let alone partners, so if they're doing it for fear of being alone, they're failing.
I workout relgiously (what does that even mean?), but it's not for fear of losing my husband. It's vanity, for sure, but also to keep my HDL up and stay off meds.
...and it soothes my OCD.
Each publishing house looks for new diet and self-help books. And believe me the ideas get more marginal by the day. They look for these because they know they sell. It doesn't make them well researched, or a valuable contribution to the literature. It is just a marketing scheme. Sadly, the just checked off another demographic on their list.
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