Monday, April 5, 2010

Myth busting: Boston gay scene

Lately a few bloggers I've been reading have been trashing Boston as an unfriendly place with guys who are beyond unapproachable.  While I understand that my hometown is not likely to win a congeniality award and many guys in this town could use a serious attitude adjustment, I also know a lot of really great people who are quick to smile and easy to talk to.  So last week I conducted an unscientific social experiment by heading into Club Cafe on a Thursday night (all by myself).  Club Cafe has a reputation for being one of Boston's most popular gay bars and also one of its most reviled.  There are actually movies (All the rage) and videos on YouTube that make jokes about how unfriendly Club Cafe can be (Fresh Fruit - Ptown). Walking into the bar last Thursday I could actually hear the opening lyrics of "Ptown" in particular playing through my head "Boys in this town will tear your self-esteem down in Beantown..."

Having my blackberry as a distraction and tweeting about my experiences helped me feel like I'd have a bit of a security blanket so I would not be staring into space like a crazy person if there was nobody to say "hello" to when I walked in the front door. However, my trepidation proved unfounded because my experience was not what I read or hear people bemoan.  There were definitely the guys who had no time or interest in talking to me, but by and large I found most everyone more friendly than I would have suspected.  If I smiled, people (mostly) smiled back and even a few guys started to chat me up a bit which I took as a compliment and proof that this reputation while rooted in reality might well also be a bit blown out of proportion.  I will also admit that it probably helped that the weather was beautiful that day so nearly everyone was in a cheery mood.  I'm not sure there would have been as many smiles if we'd just received a foot of snow or if it was freezing cold, but I plan to do my own version of myth busting by trying this out at another venue or two and see where it gets me.

And lest those nay-sayers suggest I already knew people - through the entire night I only saw one person who I knew by name.  However, by the end of the night I'd met and had nice conversations with 2 really nice guys; separately. Okay... if you've read everything I wrote you are welcome to share your thoughts and tell me I'm crazy, wrong or deluded, but I'm just sharing what one night in Boston was like for me going out without any friends by my side and without knowing anyone at the bar.


VpO said...

glad you had that experience. I def. agree with you . . . the Boston gay scene is not the cold place people make it out to be.

BosGuy said...

I agree (obviously - I wrote the entry) but having just returned from New Orleans it was surprising to me how approachable people were / are down there. Now to be fair nobody (and I mean nobody) was sober and more than half the crowd was on vacation which makes a HUGE difference when out.